The Lasso

Guns for everyone?

Guns for everyone?

West Hagler, Staff Reporter

April 6, 2018


Filed under Satire

Note: Beating a Dead Horse is a regular satire column from Lasso authors. All names and likenesses are fictional. The Lasso Editorial Board and FCCPS do not espouse or endorse opinions expressed in these columns. Enjoy! Recently, there have been proposals to issue firearms to 20 percent of the teache...

7 olympic events for students

7 olympic events for students

Anna Tarter

March 8, 2018


Filed under Satire

1. Sycophant Scramble An elite group of athletes have trained their whole school career for this occasion. When time starts, Olympians rush to their laptops and fiercely dig through their teacher’s Facebook and various other social media accounts to gather as much information about their interests as ...

Freshman chooses a Mustang Rodeo she has a genuine interest in

Freshman chooses a Mustang Rodeo she has a genuine interest in

Anna Tarter

March 1, 2018


Filed under Satire

On Thursday, February 22, shortly after Eventbrite had been opened for students to reserve tickets for the annual Mustang Rodeo, freshman Courtney Odemis informed her friends that she had already chosen a Mustang Rodeo to attend. According to Isabelle Anderson, a friend of Odemis’, “I mean, I ...

6 Valentine’s Day Cards to send your friends

6 Valentine’s Day Cards to send your friends

Anna Tarter

February 14, 2018


Filed under Satire

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6 Not-so-Popular Holiday Gifts (that didn’t make the cut)

6 Not-so-Popular Holiday Gifts (that didn’t make the cut)

Coleman Gardner

December 22, 2017


Filed under Satire

Ah, finally the time of gift-giving and materialism is upon us. Most stores try to deliver or sell everything in stock as families, couples, and sad single loners all buy into the commercialism. As pockets are emptied and packages delivered, stores all around the country have released their least want...

7 Back to School Products That Didn’t Make the Cut

7 Back to School Products That Didn’t Make the Cut

Anna Tarter

October 12, 2017


Filed under Satire

  Painfully Honest Notez Do you want to start the day off with a smile? Well, you can’t. With Painfully Honest Notez, you’ll get what you deserve. These notes are small and perpetually cute, decorated with pinterest-approved smiley faces and über cute borders. To top it off, each note comes with...

George Mason High School Student Newspaper - The Lasso
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