The Lasso

Satire: Here’s how 2020 is going to get worse

A graphic that says how 2020 will get worse
August 24, 2020

This summer has given The Lasso magical powers and now we can see into the future! Here are all the ways 2020 will get worse and the date each event will occur: September 26 The baby giant panda...

Satire: The Universe reveals that March was all just an April Fool’s Day prank

Coronavirus Disease 2019. (Photo Courtesy of U.S. Air Force)
April 1, 2020

The Universe revealed that March was one massive, cruel April Fool's Day prank after one of the longest, most chaotic months to date. In its apology statement, The Universe agreed to rewind the world back...

Satire: Ways to take advantage of quarantine

Hand sanitizer on a counter
April 1, 2020

With school closed for the rest of the year due to the coronavirus outbreak, things are looking pretty bleak. However, it’s not all bad! Here are some ways to take the bad circumstances of this outbreak...

Satire: Dear George Mason

Satire: Dear George Mason
Advice from our school's namesake.
September 20, 2019

Dear George Mason, I’m finding it hard to manage all of my grades with some being in PowerSchool and some being in the Schoology grade book. What should I do? Sincerely, Stressed Dear Stressed,  I...

Ten emojis perfect for any student

Ten emojis perfect for any student
January 15, 2019

1). 2.) 3.) 4.) 5.) 6.) 7.) 8.) 9.) 10.)

Student enjoys administration’s cancelation of midterm week

GMHS administration stands outside of school in their halloween costumes.
January 14, 2019

To the surprise of everyone, student Sally Johnson, junior, said that she doesn’t, in fact, detest the administration of George Mason canceling the annual midterm week. “While all my friends like...

Guns for everyone?

Little tyke exercises his second amendment right to bear arms. (Photo courtesy of C 4 Ranch and Lodge website)
April 6, 2018

Note: Beating a Dead Horse is a regular satire column from Lasso authors. All names and likenesses are fictional. The Lasso Editorial Board and FCCPS do not espouse or endorse opinions expressed in these...

Freshman chooses a Mustang Rodeo she has a genuine interest in

Girl smiling in cafeteria
March 1, 2018

On Thursday, February 22, shortly after Eventbrite had been opened for students to reserve tickets for the annual Mustang Rodeo, freshman Courtney Odemis informed her friends that she had already...

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